Congratulations on your recent engagement! As a parish community, we rejoice with you and pledge to you our prayers and support. As Catholics, we believe that marriage is a sacred covenant, and as such, is a sacrament; a visible sign of Christ’s presence which empowers us with His grace. In the living out of this sacrament, God’s love is present in our world.
Of all the many preparations which you will make over these months prior to the wedding, none is more significant than your spiritual preparation. Please make time to pray together by coming to Mass each week and for those who are Catholic, to avail yourselves to the sacramental life of the church. During our time together we will discuss not only the details of the wedding, but, more importantly, we will assist you to prepare for your life together as husband and wife.
A wedding is a day;
a marriage is a lifetime.
The slogan above, a familiar refrain in the Engaged Encounter program, is short but it speaks volumes. A wedding and a marriage are not the same thing. Your family and all the other people who have nurtured you in love, if given a choice, would want for you a happy and fulfilling marriage rather than the picture perfect wedding day. This is also the wish of the pastoral team and the people of St. John Neumann Parish. The celebration of this holy sacrament of Marriage on your wedding day should be the start of a happy and holy life together. We offer you all the resources of this family of faith to assure you and the whole congregation you will bring together a memorable time of worship and prayer.
The steps for marriage preparation at St. John Neumann Parish are based on the guidelines issued by the Roman Catholic Diocese of Fall River.
Step 1: Initial appointment
At least 8 months before the wedding, an appointment is to be made with the priest or deacon. At this appointment the date will be arranged in the parish calendar and the necessary paperwork will begin. No dates will be discussed over the phone. The documents which you need to obtain will be discussed. To schedule an appointment, call the parish office at 508.763.2240.
While many couples already have a particular date in mind, no firm commitments should be made until after this first meeting. Because of the parish schedule of Masses, Sacraments of Reconciliation and Baptism, weddings are scheduled at the following times;
Friday: afternoon/evening
Saturday: 11am – 2:00pm
Sunday: 2pm – 4pm
A couple where both parties are Catholic generally will be married at a Nuptial Mass. A marriage of a Catholic and someone of another faith tradition may celebrate the Rite of Marriage outside of Mass.
After this initial meeting, the process of preparation will involve several meetings to deepen a couple’s understanding of the sacrament as well as to deepen their knowledge of each other.
Step 2: FOCCUS process
(Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study.)
This process is a self-diagnostic inventory designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship. Parish couples who are part of the Marriage Preparation Team will invite couples to their home where they will facilitate the completion of the FOCCUS survey.
Step 3: FOCCUS follow-up
Contact the priest for an appointment one month after the FOCCUS inventory to review the information.
Step 4: Marriage preparation program
There are several programs to choose from which are sponsored by the parish and/or the diocese. From the following options, you will choose one:
- Diocesan Marriage Preparation Program: With a larger group of engaged couples from different parishes, these programs are available in various areas of the diocese. They are generally held on Sundays. The calendar and registration forms are available on line at the link below.
- Engaged Encounter: This is a weekend program where engaged couples gather for a weekend to focus on their relationships with one another and with the Lord. Registration for the Engaged Encounter is also done through the Fall River Diocesan office of Family Ministry.
Step 5: Meeting with parish priest/deacon.
Soon after your participation in one of the Marriage Preparation Programs, you should contact the parish priest or deacon. At this time, you will be asked to discuss your participation in the program you attended. Also, you will then begin discussion about the wedding ceremony using the booklet given to you at the initial meeting, “Together for Life” by Joseph Champlin, published by Ave Maria Press.
Step 6: Rehearsal
The rehearsal is directed by a parishioner who serves as a wedding organizer. If you have hired a wedding planner, please notify them that in the church, our wedding organizer is responsible for all aspects of the procession and details of the ceremony. Generally, the rehearsal is scheduled one or two nights before the wedding. All involved in the wedding party are invited to participate. If you have invited members of your family or other friends to serve as Lectors, they should be asked to attend. The wedding party is expected to arrive 10 minutes before the start of the rehearsal.
Step 7: Your Wedding Day!!
This is the day you have been waiting for. We are looking forward to celebrate this day with you and your family and friends.
Fees:
Church: Our parish is pleased to support you in the celebration of the sacrament of marriage. While there is no “fee” for the celebration of sacraments, a contribution to the parish which is proportionate to typical wedding expenses is gratefully accepted.
Music and Musicians: Our parish Director of Music is Mr. Charles Dillingham. He should be contacted as soon as you have arranged the date with the parish. He can be reached at 774-200-0056 or you can speak with him after the 4:00pm Saturday vigil, 9:30am, and 11:00am Masses on Sundays. Charlie will meet with you to assist in planning the music for your wedding. All liturgical celebrations in our parish require the use of one of our trained cantors. Our parish has a vibrant music ministry and there are many options for additional vocalists and instrumentalists. Fees for their service, as well as any additional rehearsals they may require are contractual agreements between the musicians and the wedding party. These fees are the responsibility of the wedding party and are separate from the contribution to the church.
Other gratuities: There are many persons who will provide services for you on your wedding day and it is customary to provide gratuities for their service. Your packet of information will include pre-labeled envelopes for your use to show your appreciation to our parish volunteers.
Other items
Flowers and decorations: it is customary for the wedding party to provide flowers for the sanctuary. During some seasons, particularly the Easter or Christmas seasons, the church is already extensively decorated and no additional flowers are needed. If your florist has never worked at St. John Neumann before, he/she should contact us to know what is approved. Flowers may not be placed on the altar or standing around the altar so that movement around the altar is impeded. Also, decorations on the pews must be attached only with materials that will not mar or damage the pews or the finish. No tape, metal, or tacks are permitted.
Aisle Runner: Please do not use an aisle runner. They constitute a safety hazard for the congregation.
Wedding favors/rice throwing: Throwing off rice, bird-seed, confetti, or any other substances inside or outside the church is prohibited. Distribution of wedding favors should be reserved for the reception.
Photographer/Videographer: The photographer or videographer is required to introduce himself/herself to the celebrant upon arrival to the church. Potocols will be explained at that time.
If there are any other questions, pleas do not hesitate to contact the rectory at 508-763-2240, or pastor@sjnfreetown.org.